do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
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It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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