this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize