I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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