i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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