Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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