he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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