apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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