I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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