I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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