My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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