If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize