Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
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His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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