Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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