About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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