I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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