similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
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She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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