I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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