so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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