I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize