she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize