the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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