I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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