No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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