was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize