im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize