Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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