Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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