I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize