She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize