I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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