Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
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in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My vagina just recognized that song.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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