well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
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The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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