After last night, I could never be a politician.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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