Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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