If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize