Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You took a bar mat shot.
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A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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