Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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