he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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