I want to walk on stilts...naked
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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