Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize