So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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