I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize