At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize