I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize