he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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