He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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