no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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