I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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