my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
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I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
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Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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