I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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